Support for Victims of Domestic Violence - Coatesville DOES

When domestic violence ends in serious injury or a death, it can rock a community.

Fingers are pointed, questions are asked: Who is to blame? Why didn?t police/family/friends DO anything? Could this have been prevented? Why does a person even stay in such a relationship?

To many of us on the outside, the warning signs seem obvious, and the response a no-brainer. But the dynamics involved in an abusive relationship are complicated, making it difficult and frustrating for those wanting to help.

Even the authorities are challenged by this. An article posted on Officer.com, entitled ?Understanding the Dynamics of Domestic Violence?, attempts to clarify some of the classic components of these relationships because, ?? understandably, police officers can become frustrated with repeat calls for service.?

According to the article, the two most prevalent major elements in an abusive relationship are power and control.

The abuser knows how to manipulate the emotions of the victim, keeping them trapped in fear and confusion about the meaning of love, and feelings of their own responsibility for the abuse. The abuser may also have control over finances, access to children and other areas of vulnerability that leaves little to no option for the victim to leave. Feelings of embarrassment or humiliation may keep the victim from reaching out for support (and it should be stated here that men can also be victims of abuse at the hands of women). We must also remember that there may still be feelings of caring for the abuser, especially if they have a family together.

Fortunately, programs like LAP (Lethality Assessment Program) are showing some success in helping police better assess the potential dangers of a relationship through asking certain questions (such as: Has the abuser ever threatened to kill the victim;? has the abuser ever used or tried to use a weapon against the victim; or has the victim recently separated from or divorced the abuser), followed by an appropriate response protocol. (For more information about LAP, click here.)

Terry Moody, of the Domestic Violence Center of Chester County, echoed these observations, and the reminder that there is so much gray area in these situations.

When asked how friends and family of a domestic violence victim can be of the most help, she gave this advice:

- To be a friend, LISTEN, and please! give information about where to get help. Support them as much as possible, let them know they are not alone and refrain from judgement. We may not understand why a person stays in that kind of relationship, but to be critical of them is to potentially threaten the friendship, and we may be their only lifeline.

Statistics show victims may leave and return an average of seven times within the course of a relationship. And again, it occurs across all walks of life and levels of income, within families ?of importance? ? even to men -? and those trapped in such a situation may feel too ashamed to let others know what is happening.

Moody says that that DVCCC has many resources to help victims of abuse, including shelter in a non-disclosed locations, two full-time attorneys, and, of course, a 24/7 phone line to call for help, or even just to talk and receive feedback on a situation, given that there are many forms of abuse beyond just the physical.

Their website is DVCCC.com and the phone number is 610-431-1430.

Another website listing shelters throughout Chester County for a variety of needs is here: http://shelter.ccil.org/

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Source: http://www.coatesvilledoes.com/support-for-victims-of-domestic-violence/

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